Day Six

I have felt like shit all week. I know I should expect that. My body is going through a detox, but I wasn't expecting it to feel this bad. Thursday night I had to call out sick, that's how bad it was. My body decided to run a fever with chills and make me run to the bathroom several times an hour, even if nothing was passing through one way or the other.

What makes feel really bad is that I fell off the wagon Friday night. I broke down and bought a pack of smokes. Not that I really needed them or wanted them. I was having a bad day. Had been on the phone with the car insurance claims adjuster and got some bad news. I was in a cranky mood all day. I bought a pack of cigs and have regretted it since. I am trying to decide what I should do with them. I have had a few in the last 24 hours, but no where near what I usually would have smoked. Helps that my throat is sore and that my head is stuffed up, but I do not want to smoke. Most of the ones I have had have been out of boredom, not some physical need or desire to have the nicotine. I do not like throwing things away, though. But my smoker friends are diminishing every time I turn around. Used to be that all of my friends were smokers. I am still friends with almost all the same people, with some newer additions; but most of them have quit smoking. Good for them! I will be joining them very soon. And I am very much looking forward to that!

It is a daily struggle, as anyone who has quit smoking knows. By no stretch of the imagination am I wanting to compare this addiction to alcohol, but I suppose I could. Both are psychologically as well as physically addictive. And the former smoker will go the rest of their lives fighting the cravings and desiring a cigarette from time to time. As it is with any addiction.

Odd, we don't refer to an alcoholic who stops drinking as a former drinker or an exdrinker. But we do refer to a smoker who quits smoking as a former smoker or an exsmoker. Why is that? Both addictions are just has hard to kick, and both can come back without any outward warning. I know that alcoholism is referred to as a disease, nicotine addiction should be treated as a disease by everyone.

The Journey Continues

Going into day five of my quit smoking journey. And I feel miserable. I woke up Wednesday night with a sore throat. Apparently I have sinus drainage and it decided to leave a raw spot in my throat. I finally got a bloody gobbit of mucus hacked out of there about 3am or so Thursday while I work. But I was far from feeling 100% better.

Got home from work yesterday and figured I would relax a bit by watching a little TV. I was sweating like a pig. But I just wrote it off to the first day of really Spring like weather. We were in the mid to upper 80's yesterday after all. But when I went to bed I was not only sweating, I was shivering. Guess I had a fever. Been fighting a fever on and off since then, actually.

Woke up the first time around 1pm, went to the bathroom and decided that if I still felt miserable in a couple of hours I would call out from work. Woke up every hour after that - making trips to the bathroom each time. Finally called out sick around 5:30pm I hate calling out sick! Spent the whole night either watching TV or trying to sleep.

This morning I still have a sore throat, but not near as bad. I am warm, but I think the fever is finally gone. I am going to watch a little more TV and then head off to bed. With any luck, I will be fit as a fiddle in time for work tonight. Either way, I have to go to work.

ON THE TOBACCO FRONT: After a few cheats with a cigar, hacking and choking the whole way, I have gone well over 24 hours without tobacco. I've even gone over 24 hours with nicotine! The true test is going to be getting through a visit with smoker-friends without caving in and bumming off of them. But I do not see that happening for a few days yet.

The Journey Begins

Wow! It has been MONTHS since I last posted ANYTHING to this blog, and for that I apologize. Life has gotten out of hand and now I am taking control again! However, this blog post has to do with the new journey I am embarking on:

I have decided that it is high time I quit smoking. Good for me, right? Of course it is good for me! But, it is going to be one of the most difficult journeys I have ever undertaken. This is something like attempt number 10 to quit smoking.

Already I am feeling an urge to smoke. I just had my supper and I usually have a cigarette after I eat. So, you can well imagine that I am fighting that craving right now.

How am I doing it? Will power and Commit lozenges.

How long will it take? The Commit program is 12 weeks, that's three months. Not sure if it will take that long with me, but it we shall see.

I am going to keep you all informed of my journey and ask that you lend me some support. Like I said, this is a very difficult task for me and I will need the support along the way. Stories of how you or someone you know quit might be helpful and inspiring for me.

I cannot promise you that I will post something every day of this journey, but I will definitely keep you informed of my successes and failures (may there be very few of the latter).