Day Six

I have felt like shit all week. I know I should expect that. My body is going through a detox, but I wasn't expecting it to feel this bad. Thursday night I had to call out sick, that's how bad it was. My body decided to run a fever with chills and make me run to the bathroom several times an hour, even if nothing was passing through one way or the other.

What makes feel really bad is that I fell off the wagon Friday night. I broke down and bought a pack of smokes. Not that I really needed them or wanted them. I was having a bad day. Had been on the phone with the car insurance claims adjuster and got some bad news. I was in a cranky mood all day. I bought a pack of cigs and have regretted it since. I am trying to decide what I should do with them. I have had a few in the last 24 hours, but no where near what I usually would have smoked. Helps that my throat is sore and that my head is stuffed up, but I do not want to smoke. Most of the ones I have had have been out of boredom, not some physical need or desire to have the nicotine. I do not like throwing things away, though. But my smoker friends are diminishing every time I turn around. Used to be that all of my friends were smokers. I am still friends with almost all the same people, with some newer additions; but most of them have quit smoking. Good for them! I will be joining them very soon. And I am very much looking forward to that!

It is a daily struggle, as anyone who has quit smoking knows. By no stretch of the imagination am I wanting to compare this addiction to alcohol, but I suppose I could. Both are psychologically as well as physically addictive. And the former smoker will go the rest of their lives fighting the cravings and desiring a cigarette from time to time. As it is with any addiction.

Odd, we don't refer to an alcoholic who stops drinking as a former drinker or an exdrinker. But we do refer to a smoker who quits smoking as a former smoker or an exsmoker. Why is that? Both addictions are just has hard to kick, and both can come back without any outward warning. I know that alcoholism is referred to as a disease, nicotine addiction should be treated as a disease by everyone.